Technically speaking someone like me would be called a widow. Yet, I would never identify myself in such a depressing way. On a dark, quiet night after days of contemplating the state of my relationships and the decisions and attitudes that brought me to that point I made a promise to myself about how my future relationships would be. I came to understand that every aspect of my life is my creation and if I want it to be different I needed to be different. Different was not enough of description, I had to articulate and specify to myself how I intended to conduct myself in the future. I have to admit though, it’s a work in progress but here it is:
If today I was in a marriage that would only end at the death of one of both of us, I think I would invest more in loving and in friendship and kindness and understanding. I would want to make the journey as easy and pleasurable for both of us as I possibly could. I would like for the signature of the union to be that of a home. That the space that exists between the 2 of us to be home for both of us. If I was in a life-long marriage I would show more of my true self and leave less for one day when I am more comfortable. I would work harder at making it work, I would dig deeper for treasure inside myself and the other person. I would believe more in the other person’s divinity and show them more tolerance. I would be more quiet and less reactionary. I would speak more for the eternal virtues and argue less. I would refrain from saying hurtful words and remember to use only those that I can swallow easily should I have to eat my words.I would remember the good and pay less attention to the undesirable.
My current relationship is one that only existed in my most private, fondest fantasies. I know now what it feels like to live my impossible dream and it required work. It required working on myself. I understand now that working on my inner territory is working on my life because nothing will grow in my life if I don’t cultivate the soil, plant the seed and tend to plants I want to see flourishing in my life.
It is a fundamental lesson to learn that life doesn’t happen to me, but because of me.
A LOVER OF MEN 
THESE words were sent from our FATHER which is in HEAVEN and gave to you to share with the whole world . AND i am happy to say in one of your comments you made a mistake . YOU said it was a impossible dream if HE told you and HE did it is not impossible because i am a fruit of all you have said . IT took me and my wife 45 yrs. to be as one person . Because of HIS love HE tells us are mistakes. And if we listen and stop doing them . This is when we become perfect in HIS eyes
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THE CREATOR said before the begginning of time on this earth at the right time i will create a women that will listen to ME . AND i will tell her how to treat a man . IN a perfect way . After this i will create a man and he will change the word women and say man . USEING her words that come from me . I can express this is the way i want men and women to treat each outher. AND IF they will listen they will stop fighting each outher
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Thanks Eduardo, I would also like to see the anger and suspicion between men and women disappear and I think it can be done by each side seeing more of the goodness of the other. Thanks for your feedback, love talking to you!
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WE are creatures of habits when we hear nothing but bad sooner or later . WE believe it . and by not knowing the truth , BECAUSE reglion and our goverments have lied to us from the very begining . KNOW this what our farfathers told from gen, to gen . the truth is out there IF tou want it go find it . THEN when you hear a lie you will know the difference. AND dont speak anything IF your HEAVEN FATHER did not tell you . HE created truth and everthing HE says is the truth . SO if you want the truth we must get it from him
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LOVE is like a nest once you find it you will never leave it . And it will solve all our problems that we are selfs create . IT judges not because it forgives
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