A Promise to Myself

be softTechnically speaking someone like me would be called a widow. Yet, I would never identify myself in such a depressing way. On a dark, quiet night after days of contemplating the state of my relationships and the decisions and attitudes that brought me to that point I made a promise to myself about how my future relationships would be. I came to understand that every aspect of my life is my creation and if I want it to be different I needed to be different. Different was not enough of description, I had to articulate and specify to myself how I intended to conduct myself in the future. I have to admit though, it’s a work in progress but here it is:

If today I was in a marriage that would only end at the death of one of both of us, I think I would invest more in loving and in friendship and kindness and understanding. I would want to make the journey as easy and pleasurable for both of us as I possibly could. I would like for the signature of the union to be that of a home. That the space that exists between the 2 of us to be home for both of us. If I was in a life-long marriage I would show more of my true self and leave less for one day when I am more comfortable. I would work harder at making it work, I would dig deeper for treasure inside myself and the other person. I would believe more in the other person’s divinity and show them more tolerance. I would be more quiet and less reactionary. I would speak more for the eternal virtues and argue less. I would refrain from saying hurtful words and remember to use only those that I can swallow easily should I have to eat my words.I would remember the good and pay less attention to the undesirable.

My current relationship is one that only existed in my most private, fondest fantasies. I know now what it feels like to live my impossible dream and it required work. It required working on myself. I understand now that working on my inner territory is working on my life because nothing will grow in my life if I don’t cultivate the soil, plant the seed and tend to plants I want to see flourishing in my life.

It is a fundamental lesson to learn that life doesn’t happen to me, but because of me.



  1. THESE words were sent from our FATHER which is in HEAVEN and gave to you to share with the whole world . AND i am happy to say in one of your comments you made a mistake . YOU said it was a impossible dream if HE told you and HE did it is not impossible because i am a fruit of all you have said . IT took me and my wife 45 yrs. to be as one person . Because of HIS love HE tells us are mistakes. And if we listen and stop doing them . This is when we become perfect in HIS eyes

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  2. THE CREATOR said before the begginning of time on this earth at the right time i will create a women that will listen to ME . AND i will tell her how to treat a man . IN a perfect way . After this i will create a man and he will change the word women and say man . USEING her words that come from me . I can express this is the way i want men and women to treat each outher. AND IF they will listen they will stop fighting each outher

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  3. Thanks Eduardo, I would also like to see the anger and suspicion between men and women disappear and I think it can be done by each side seeing more of the goodness of the other. Thanks for your feedback, love talking to you!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. WE are creatures of habits when we hear nothing but bad sooner or later . WE believe it . and by not knowing the truth , BECAUSE reglion and our goverments have lied to us from the very begining . KNOW this what our farfathers told from gen, to gen . the truth is out there IF tou want it go find it . THEN when you hear a lie you will know the difference. AND dont speak anything IF your HEAVEN FATHER did not tell you . HE created truth and everthing HE says is the truth . SO if you want the truth we must get it from him


  5. LOVE is like a nest once you find it you will never leave it . And it will solve all our problems that we are selfs create . IT judges not because it forgives


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