Tring! Tring! Why he’s calling you at Night

Tring! Tring!

You thought he really was never going to talk you again. He said it so clearly that it’s over and he can’t take this shit anymore.

Two days went by and then a third. Now it’s been a week and you tell yourself to accept things are too messed up to be fixed. So you stopped playing Bobby Womack and beating yourself up while eating cake in bed. You took a bath and went to bed like the strong woman you are. You’re going to sleep it off and put on a brave face in the morning because you don’t need to lean on him to make it through life. His loss!

You felt so proud of yourself as you drifted off to sleep. Tring! Tring! the phone rang. It was him.

Why always in the dead of night?

Why always when you were ready to be over it?

Well, men have hearts and their hearts speak loudest at night.

You get upset because he ignores you all day and then calls at ungodly hours starting the conversation with something stupid like: “What you doing?” Well, what do you think I’d be doing at 23h00 on a week night, my brother?

At this point a bit of understanding can work wonders, so let me tell you why I believe men call late at night. Then you might have some understanding to apply in the midnight hours.

We all know and understand that the male of the species are more cerebral and task focused than women, so during the day his attention is on the task at hand. If he is at work, his mind is on his work. In most instances men want something to take their minds off the things that bother them and that they don’t know how to fix. So the point here is, he is either legitimately busy, or purposely busy with things to keep you and whatever is happening between the two of you off his mind.

One man said the easiest way to get a man to stop ignoring you is to stop telling yourself that he is. Truth is he probably isn’t thinking about you at all. So that is what’s happening during the day, unless he intentionally reaches out to you, take it that he is busy and his mind is elsewhere.

We women assume that because matters of the heart are so prominent in our lives, it will automatically be the same for men. Not so much, dear. He has a heart but maybe he goes about things differently than you do.

Late at night when his heart is hungry and needs to be fed, you, the woman he cares about becomes very important. Things that have centre stage during the day don’t carry the same weight at night when he is alone with his own thoughts and feelings. I read a blog written by a teenage boy recently that said he can flirt with girls all day but just before he sleeps he only thinks about the girl he REALLY likes. From the mouths of babes, as they say.

I have been all kinds of angry about being called during unsociable hours of the night. I have a rule that phone-calls that come after 10 o’clock are disrespectful and should be strongly discouraged. The majority of the calls I receive from the men I’m with come after 10 nonetheless. Even when everything is great, your man is probably not going to call you during the day unless there is something important he wants to tell you. He’ll do it while he’s still trying to get you, he might do it if he’s the kind of guy who likes to check in, but from my experience men generally don’t roll like that.

Men feel just as good as you do when everything is going well between the two of you. They are just as concerned as you are when things aren’t. He feels everything you feel, he wants all the things you want, he just does things differently than you would. Give him enough time and the midnight hour will eventually get to him. If he cares, he will call.

A friend of mine’s husband left her, but every time he went out he’d call her in the morning hours. He did that, he said, just to tell her how much he was celebrating life being on his own. I had to ask when she ever did that. When did she pick up the phone after a fabulous evening out to call someone she can’t stand? No one works that way. All his crazy calls were significant. Oh yes, the “celebrations” ended and my friend’s husband came back; very apologetic.

If you want him to call you during the day, please just ask the man. Just get that once and for all women of the world. Ask for what you want, preferably in short, clear sentences. If he cares he’ll do it or at least try.

One more thing though, it’s a no-go if a guy only ever calls you at night, but nothing else happens. You have to insist that his actions during the day matches with his words at night. If you don’t have that, you have nothing! If that’s his deal, he’s probably calling someone else after speaking to you. Keep that mind sharp because your happiness is no one else’s concern except yours. Don’t be fooled. Men who are serious act on their word, they don’t just make the right noises.

So next time when the boy you like calls late at night, he probably just wants to feed his hungry little heart before going off to slumber land.

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  1. Sis most women think that they know men and the same thing goes for men towards women . BUT this is not so” THE only way you can know the truth. IS if GOD tells you. OR if a man that realy LOVES you, that doesnt want to jump in bed with you. BUT you must ask him. IF he realy loves you you will never catch him in a lie. WHY ? its because he loves you silly girl . Now to the point, will you let me be that man in your life ? YOU are a grown women but to me you are my little sister. And i do love you.This i have proven to you many times . What do you or i have to lose ? IF i tell you what he tells me. We will not suffer by makeing mistakes . ONLY because HE doesnt make mistakes AND he never lies——–

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Eduardo, i have just taken a break from being on the net all day every day, but I do miss you and all my blog friends a lot.
      This post as silly, as it may seem was actually written after speaking with a friend several years younger than I am who was having a hard time with getting that late night phone call from a guy who she knows likes her but doesn’t speak to her during the day.
      I thought I’d share my opinion about those late night calls, because sometimes you have to make allowances for people’s humanity and their insecurities and the late night is perhaps the ideal time when you can address those things you cant do during the light of day.
      I am past the stage where I jump into bed with a man because I think he loves me. I jump into bed with a man because I want to. I think Im beyond the point where I need cheap little lies to be seduced into bed.
      However I do love men and like I said before, I have the privilege of attracting only the best kind. You have been such a gentleman and a kind brother and that just proves my point: Wherever I go, good men follow.
      Have a great day, I love you lots and miss you all the time.

      Liked by 1 person

      • SIS when you express the thoughts from your SPIRIT which you do alot . I cry , because i feel the LOVE of our FATHER comeing from you . This way i know what he tells me through you is what HE thinks about me , and also you . however i take no creit it all comes from our FATHER . The LOVE and RESPECT we have for each outher also comes from him. The secret is you let him use you . to speak through you so i thank you . NOT just for me , for everyone else you have helped in the time of need

        Liked by 1 person

  2. They call you because you are familiar and they are too lazy to go and find some one else because that means they actually have to make efort.
    Don’t answer. When a man thinks you need to effort, it is indeed him that needs no effort…none at all.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Definitely don’t answer if you feel that way. But then again, part of the fun of having a man in your life is standing back and watching all the crazy sh** they do and then tell you “Men are really simple creatures” or “I didn’t mean it that way, don’t over-react.” You have to roll with it sister, or you’ll lose a few marbles along the way.


      • No, you shouldn’t answer late night calls at all, having a man in your life should mean at the least respect. Respect for your time and respect for your body. Unless that is the specific arrangement, then the call shouldn’t come at night, the call should have come earlier to arrange the night. But if you are happy being a booty call and having a man think he can take what ever he wants from you, then each to her own. I have had a few “arrangements” with the men in my life, but I will tell you that none of them will dare to call me in the middle of the night. And those that do, the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward.

        Liked by 1 person

      • No one said anything about a booty call, girl! If it is unclear to anyone what I intended to write about, it was a phone call, which in involves talking, not booties. But hey if you want to answer the booty call, Im not going to stop anyone, live your life. Consider the fact the men are human, and human beings are actually not one-dimensional, they have layers. So every late night call is not necessarily a bad thing. Many broken relationships have been mended late at night by a call that came from the heart and didn’t necessarily make sense to your logic.
        Somewhere in this post it says keep your mind sharp and don’t allow yourself to be used. I should also add: Keep your heart soft and don’t allow disappointment to mess up your life forever.
        I feel you girl, but what we do during the day is sometimes starkly contrasted against what we get up to late at night, both men and women.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Those who judge or find falt in outhers are bound to fall . THOSE who do not :look for the good in people, and forgive them . And they are happy . and have good words to lift someone up when they are down

      Liked by 1 person

      • When the sole purpose for a man’s late night calls is sexual, his “tring tring I miss you” is clearly only intended for one thing…then what is there not to judge?
        I love sharing uplifting words with people, I also love sharing my time with people who think I matter and who think I am worth the effort of a Sunday afternoon as opposed to a Friday night.
        Let’s not judge, but also, let’s not allow ourselves to be used.

        Liked by 1 person

      • IF a man sees you and likes the way you act and look. most of the time they wont say all they think . But i allways did, and i know women do the same thing as men . I cant call this judgeing, if you like the women or man go for it you might get lucky. BECAUSE they both might be thinking the same thing. Just dont fall in love intell you know she or he is the right one. WHY be in a hurry and make a mistake then blame it on the outher.

        Liked by 1 person

      • HA HA if you ever was cooler than you are now . I would need to put my jacket on.———- ring ring get my message ? just want you to know i still LOVES you


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