You thought he really was never going to talk you again. He said it so clearly that it’s over and he can’t take this shit anymore.
Two days went by and then a third. Now it’s been a week and you tell yourself to accept things are too messed up to be fixed. So you stopped playing Bobby Womack and beating yourself up while eating cake in bed. You took a bath and went to bed like the strong woman you are. You’re going to sleep it off and put on a brave face in the morning because you don’t need to lean on him to make it through life. His loss!
You felt so proud of yourself as you drifted off to sleep. Tring! Tring! the phone rang. It was him.
Why always in the dead of night?
Why always when you were ready to be over it?
Well, men have hearts and their hearts speak loudest at night.
You get upset because he ignores you all day and then calls at ungodly hours starting the conversation with something stupid like: “What you doing?” Well, what do you think I’d be doing at 23h00 on a week night, my brother?
At this point a bit of understanding can work wonders, so let me tell you why I believe men call late at night. Then you might have some understanding to apply in the midnight hours.
We all know and understand that the male of the species are more cerebral and task focused than women, so during the day his attention is on the task at hand. If he is at work, his mind is on his work. In most instances men want something to take their minds off the things that bother them and that they don’t know how to fix. So the point here is, he is either legitimately busy, or purposely busy with things to keep you and whatever is happening between the two of you off his mind.
One man said the easiest way to get a man to stop ignoring you is to stop telling yourself that he is. Truth is he probably isn’t thinking about you at all. So that is what’s happening during the day, unless he intentionally reaches out to you, take it that he is busy and his mind is elsewhere.
We women assume that because matters of the heart are so prominent in our lives, it will automatically be the same for men. Not so much, dear. He has a heart but maybe he goes about things differently than you do.
Late at night when his heart is hungry and needs to be fed, you, the woman he cares about becomes very important. Things that have centre stage during the day don’t carry the same weight at night when he is alone with his own thoughts and feelings. I read a blog written by a teenage boy recently that said he can flirt with girls all day but just before he sleeps he only thinks about the girl he REALLY likes. From the mouths of babes, as they say.
I have been all kinds of angry about being called during unsociable hours of the night. I have a rule that phone-calls that come after 10 o’clock are disrespectful and should be strongly discouraged. The majority of the calls I receive from the men I’m with come after 10 nonetheless. Even when everything is great, your man is probably not going to call you during the day unless there is something important he wants to tell you. He’ll do it while he’s still trying to get you, he might do it if he’s the kind of guy who likes to check in, but from my experience men generally don’t roll like that.
Men feel just as good as you do when everything is going well between the two of you. They are just as concerned as you are when things aren’t. He feels everything you feel, he wants all the things you want, he just does things differently than you would. Give him enough time and the midnight hour will eventually get to him. If he cares, he will call.
A friend of mine’s husband left her, but every time he went out he’d call her in the morning hours. He did that, he said, just to tell her how much he was celebrating life being on his own. I had to ask when she ever did that. When did she pick up the phone after a fabulous evening out to call someone she can’t stand? No one works that way. All his crazy calls were significant. Oh yes, the “celebrations” ended and my friend’s husband came back; very apologetic.
If you want him to call you during the day, please just ask the man. Just get that once and for all women of the world. Ask for what you want, preferably in short, clear sentences. If he cares he’ll do it or at least try.
One more thing though, it’s a no-go if a guy only ever calls you at night, but nothing else happens. You have to insist that his actions during the day matches with his words at night. If you don’t have that, you have nothing! If that’s his deal, he’s probably calling someone else after speaking to you. Keep that mind sharp because your happiness is no one else’s concern except yours. Don’t be fooled. Men who are serious act on their word, they don’t just make the right noises.
So next time when the boy you like calls late at night, he probably just wants to feed his hungry little heart before going off to slumber land.
picture found on lovethispic.com