One of the most powerful things I ever read in a book had such a deep impact on me that it changed me the moment I read it. It was this:

Marry yourself.

Its advice is to bring the male and female aspects of yourself in to balance and marry them harmoniously. It made me ask myself whether I would marry me if I was a man. The answer of course is a resounding yes. But now I ask myself the question differently. What would the male version of myself be like?

Would I be as courteous and respectful as is expected of me?

Would I live up to every promise I make and be a man of my word?

Would my actions show those closest to me how much I love and care for them?

Would I be honest and tell only the truth at all times?

Would I swallow down my dissatisfaction with my relationship and honour the words I said years ago just because it was spoken before 100+ family and friends?

Would I still see the beauty in my woman, even when she stops cherishing it herself?

Would I continue to make the effort to be as handsome, charming and attentive as when I tried to win her over?

Would I use silence and avoidance to prevent myself from facing situations that make me feel inadequate although I realise they were not purposely intended to do so?

Would I accept an unfulfilling life merely because it is the picture of manhood that society portrays for me?

Would I work hard for a home and family who rarely show me their appreciation, but quickly point out my failures?

Would I give my all to a woman who is quick to withhold her love and approval if I don’t do everything the way she wants it?

Would I phone back a girl who I’m not interested in just because I don’t want her to think I’m a dog?

Would I spend time trying to cure a good woman who is carrying shit-loads of baggage from previous relationships or rather look for someone who hasn’t lost her sparkle yet?

Would I be open and clear about what I need instead of emotionally withdrawing when I feel vulnerable?

Would I make it clear that women aren’t the only ones who can set standards for the people they desire to be in a relationship with?

Would I be the kind of man that makes women want to live up to my standards?

Would I be noble, would I be kind, would I be decent and respectable?

Would I be a man worth knowing?

Some of these things women expect from their men and some of these things women can’t stand about their men. If the shoe was on the other foot, would I be the kind of man that I want to be in a relationship with? Can I live up to my own standards and requirements?

What kind of man would I be?



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