Now when a woman says she loves men the assumption is that she is somewhat of a tart and has many gentlemen on string. When she goes on to say how much she enjoys making love, her good girl façade is shot for all eternity. The truth is that one of the reasons why I love men so much is because I love sex.
I think life is less sweet because sex is so misused. We (especially women), are supposed to follow a laundry list of rules about when to do it, why to do it, who to do it with and how to do it. Really?! I’ve never had a sexual encounter that I regret, but I have never let all the rules about how to have sex the right way stand in my way either. Too much talk and not enough action is the most common way the sweetness is removed from making love. It’s an act not a debate.
Some people like sex because it’s slightly forbidden, a little bit dirty and very exposing. It has a negative charm that some find very arousing. I find such a mind-set highly unattractive and if a man gives me the slightest indication that he sees sex in that way, he’s never sleeping with me.
Making love is like having a bit of Christmas every day. If you’re not going to happy, open and at ease about it, you can save it for someone else. When a person, man or woman, wears their sexuality comfortably and happily they shine. You can tell which long term couples are making love and which ones just “do it” occasionally. There is a delicious familiarity between two people who enjoy making love to each other and there is a dry, cracky feeling you get from those no longer getting it on. I know that there are couples who chose not have sex, but I don’t get it.
I love the idea of being entrusted with knowledge of how a person prefers their intimate pleasure. Knowing where and how to touch, what to say and understanding how your lover’s body responds is absolute gold. Seeing them in all their unclothed glory is privilege that few will enjoy, so it must be appreciated.
Making love is a means to express what can’t be put into words in my eyes. When love, a sense of connectedness, a need for comfort and closeness, happiness or just plain old desire flows and overflows between two people the only appropriate response is to make love. But we have sex with an agenda so many times that we often forget just to make love because it feels good.
The men I’ve found most attractive have always been very open, natural and respectful about sex and to me its and indication of a good lover because they were not repressed about their sexuality. Being seduced by someone who regards making love to me as something pleasurable for both of us is a compliment. Empty words or extravagant displays from a man who is doubtful about his attractiveness and ability to please a woman basically amounts to trickery.
I’ve also learnt that to be great lover no woman has to turn into a porn star or act in ways foreign to who she really is. Some women are just naturally more reserved that others but as long as he’s trying to get you alone, it means whatever you got is working for him. No pseudo-sexy behaviour is required. The two things that work like magic as far as sex is concerned, in my opinion is confidence in your own attractiveness and eagerness to be made love to. It works! Men want to know that you want them and that you consider yourself worth wanting. Then its game on.
The world would be a much sweeter place if people who love each other took more time to make love than to bother with the endless problems that seem so important but never improve anything.