I never do what I should

bob marley soul mateI should have given up on love a long time ago. I should stop wanting something more than the average relationship. I should settle for what’s good enough and not cling to my fantasies. I should start acting like the grown woman I am, and go along to get along. I should, I should, I should!

Who is going to feed my heart then? Who is going to calm my soul? Who is going to speak my mind? Who is going to live my adventures, if I’m stuck doing all the good things that I should be doing?

I trust, I hope, I challenge, I wonder, I express and I make a fool of myself! I love and love and love again like a naïve little school-girl. I open my heart again and again and again and just when you think I would never forgive or forget, I do it one more time for love. My heart is yet to become jaded by being disappointed. My naiveté has taken me to places in love that many dare not even dream about.

What is love for if not to persist where another would have given up? What is love for if not to see a king where everyone else sees “some dude”? What is love for if not to be able to forgive what seems unforgivable? What is love for except to give us strength to deal with all the flaws we find in the one who is our hearts desire? What is love for except to give what we most want to receive?

If doing what I should means betraying my heart, then I regret to inform you: I never do what I should!

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