What strikes me as sad is how many men who are in stable relationships are hungry for a smile as well as some approval and validation. And it pains me to say that many women are starving for a compliment, affection not linked to sex or just to have the one they love stare into their eyes for a second or two.
We fall down in the small things, things that we could easily do for one another. We fail to meet the little needs while focusing on what we think are the big, important things in our relationships. We wait until for the other to give before we will give back and lose out on numerous chances to make our bonds stronger and deeper.
There is so much depth and value and love and treasure in the people who are in our lives right now, but it’s obscured by the fear that lies in a hungry heart.
A hungry heart cannot risk rejection, it doesn’t have the resources to deal with it.
A hungry heart wants and wants and wants, it has nothing to give.
A hungry heart is in survival mode and it cannot accommodate or show much tolerance to another.
At the worst times in my marriage I was dying (I’m not sure I mean that symbolically) to say and do loving things, but my hungry heart couldn’t take such a leap of courage. It wanted to hide and keep itself safe from imagined rejection, but mostly from the possibility that my loving acts might meet with reciprocation. Yes, my heart was hungry because I was afraid of what feeding it would mean. I would be ashamed to admit it if I hadn’t learnt from the costly mistakes I made in the past.
So now I realise, more often than not, that when I want to run and hide instead of doing what will turn my hungry heart into strong full one, everybody feels the same hunger.