All things worth accomplishing in life requires a bit of courage and a leap of faith. I had to start believing that there is more to men merely because I couldn’t stand having to deal with the kind of entity I was lead to believe that men were. I had to have the courage to think differently in the face of massive opposition.
This opposition did not come as people directly and verbally contradicting my newly fashioned mind-set, it came more subtly. The day I decided to tell myself that men are good enlivened every experience aimed at contradicting that thought. I got caught in situations where the most up-standing of men would act in such lowly ways that I’d be convinced that they must have heard my secret thoughts. It seemed that suddenly the whole Universe just wanted to prove me wrong. It really took some kind of courage to hold on to the knowing that God (who/whatever that might be to you) would not make such a dumb mistake as to create women wanting a certain thing from men but leave men unable to fulfil that desire. I could not contradict my own eyes or my own experience, yet my knowing reigned supreme.
I clung to telling myself that not all men would cheat, be irresponsible, dishonourable, uninspiring and uninspired, discourteous or just immature. Surely there had to be a deviation from the rule, every rule has them. I wanted to give up on men so many times during the course of changing my beliefs about them, but something inside me kept me going forward.
The first positive response I got was this:
“You can have as good a man as you desire, but are you able to focus on that instead of the opinion of the world? When you are clear about your own thinking you can give yourself an opportunity to change your mind-set. The possibilities that you exist under are only the ones you allow. You need not be the victim of a man; they probably have a story of their own to tell about women. The relationships you are living under are the ones you have been shown to exist, but you can create your own if what you are used to is not satisfying you. Don’t be scared or feel restricted in what you think you should want and what you can ask for. If you don’t ask for what you need you will not have it. Create it, ask that it be given you and you will have. Don’t assume that things can be only one way. It can be any way that you want it to be, but you have to make it that way.”
Now even though I wanted to believe that statement it seemed too good to be true. Never in my life has anyone said that to me before. Since it came from my spiritual friends I had to believe it. They have never been wrong before and I knew there was nothing for them to gain from telling me fabrications.
I asked questions about how men treat women, about commit, about abstaining from sex, about providing, about men as fathers and it all had one answer: If you want it, he will do it. Nowhere in my world has that ever proven to be the case. I don’t know anyone who would confirm that for me and I knew I wouldn’t even dare to ask anyone to do so. It literally boggled my mind.
For a while I could do nothing but try to wrap my mind around what I had just been told and consider the possibility that it could actually apply to me and be applied by me.
Why has this not ever been my experience? Why were men not acting this way in my world, if what I was told is the truth?
The answer came:
“The only caveat to that statement is: How good a woman are you? No experience, no possession, no person in your life will exceed what you are. In order to gain a higher experience, you have to be worthy of a higher experience. The men you attract are only equal to the woman you believe yourself to be.”
If the first bit of knowledge boggled my mind, the last bit blew my head right open, because that I could not deny. My spiritual friends went on to explain both statements at length the more I questioned each bit of information I got.
It became clear that I had to totally re-educate myself about men and my relationships with them. My journey has been more about become a tourist of my inner realm than men and their behaviour, an arduous journey at that. Yet, this journey has given me some of what I desire most in my life, more meaningful relationships.
I love men now in a way I could not have imagined a few years back and they respond with dignity and respect and caring to my attitude towards them. Without a diet, without plastic surgery or fancy clothes and make-up I’ve become a woman that men notice, favourably at that. What I have been taught is priceless and I want to share that with every single woman who is willing to listen because I know we all want to enjoy our men more.