I ENJOY MEN

I love men, even more than food. The set of his shoulders, the fabric of his shirt making tiny folds over his bicep, the craggy skin, the weird smell before he takes a shower and my ultimate favourite; the full beard. The general ugliness of the male species just fascinates me, save the pretty boys for someone else. I just want a guy. Men are simple, yet so FUN.

They chase you down, call you several times a day, pretend to be interested in the same things you are, buy you dinner or lunch or drinks, a movie ticket all so they can get you naked. The first thing they ask when your panties hit the floor is, “What do you want me to do.” Now isn’t that a sweet deal? I get all the foregoing treats so he may have the privilege of asking me what he can do to please me in bed? Hello….!

Someone told us women have been getting the short end of the stick, it was probably a girl who got stuck with a man whose stick wasn’t long enough. Clearly I don’t share her opinion.

Most of us love men. They come on to us when we don’t even feel pretty. They make silly jokes that we really find funny. We can always convince them that some shitty job we don’t want to do is their responsibility. They don’t notice cellulite and stretch-marks (actually they do, but don’t care). They pretend they don’t know which part of us is real or enhanced. They have to stand up so we can take a seat. If the ship sinks they have to sink with it so we and the children can get onto the lifeboats. But because we are liberated, modern women we are not allowed to say we like them and we like that they like us so much.

Is there some shit attached to being a with a man? Hell yes! Are there men who treat women horribly? We all know that’s true. Are there double standards and discrimination towards women in the world? That we acknowledge. Does that mean we cannot celebrate the men that make us happy and the things they do for us if we so feel? Ohhh, Hell No, Sister.

What I know about men is that they truly just aim to please; bottom line. And they will do anything to get to the pot of gold between a woman’s legs. As the book said “You were born RICH!” Use what you got.

Being wanted is fun, being chased is fun, allowing yourself to be caught is mind-blowing but never allow yourself to be trapped. Let’s never forget how much playful pleasure there is in love and in being with men, keep the fun going.

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